My Shark Ate It
by Nezumi's Cheese
Summary: Akito was always a happy student. However, that doesn't mean he gets good grades. At the same time, Agito is bored. It is only natural that he takes over Akito's body. When Agito steps in for Akito, all hell and sharks are unleashed. And lame HW excuses.


So, this is my first Air Gear fanfic. I had this lying around in my computer so I ask myself, "Why not upload this one?" Then, my conscience answered, "Because it's stupid?" Well, I could only say screw that! I was extremely bored when making this so whatever.

Disclaimer: I don't own Air Gear.

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It was not a surprise when Agito turned out to be a complete delinquent upon attending Ikki's school. Of course, no one really cared. Classmates saw him as "attractive," "cute," "insane bipolar bastard," or "badass." Any of the words mention in the last sentence counts. Nobody who had a brain would say any of the following things anyway. Agito would either one, scream an extremely long insult and proceed to run them over with his ATs which he always manages to hide magically under his school jacket or two, chucking the nearest thing in range (usually a sharp pencil) then proceed to run them over with ATs. The teacher, promiscuous ever, tried to accuse him of sexual harassment after his innocent half went up to tap her on the shoulder to ask for a pen. Agito quickly took over the body and proceed to scream every obscenity in mankind before nearly tearing her head clean off. Luckily, Ton-chan's life was saved at the cost of the number of bruises and a broken nose Ikki and Kazu suffered trying to hold the hyena down.

However, what really irked the class was none of those things. Usually when Akito comes to class, everyone would go all "awe" over him. He was a wonderful and respectful student. The teacher would usually try to cuddle him anytime she had the chance before shouting out some suggestive comment. Unfortunately, sooner or later, somewhere during the school period, Agito would come out of boredom and doodle pictures onto Akito's desk and sometimes take a short nap. Of course, out of fear, nobody paid attention to that. The head of the school was no exception after having his clothes nearly torn clean right off one afternoon after yelling at Akito for flipping the teacher off and breaking one window with a math textbook after throwing a tantrum in math class. While Agito might not give a rat's ass about school, Akito did care.

However, Kaito was not a good brother. Being a police officer and an abuser, Kaito would never Akito have any freedom at all so cross out school. Slowly, however, Kaito became a little more caring before permitting Akito to go to school. Kaito, himself though, did not even take the time to help his little brother with his homework. Akito may have the manners and the behavior of an angel but his brain and naivety were as low as toddler. Nevertheless, he tried to teach himself but failed miserably. Ringo quickly realized it one day after Akito asked her for help with his school work in desperation. Akito didn't know anything above third grade math and second grade reading. The Fang King did not know a single thing about algebra let alone geometry.

At first, Akito would turn his homework on time miserably, ashamed of his fail answers. However, three months changed, Agito's visits were becoming more frequent. At first, Ikki and the gang thought it as the regular routine. Agito got bored. Agito wanted to do something. Agito couldn't do anything inside Akito's mind. Agito wanted to go out and do something. Agito ask Akito. Akito lets him. Agito takes over body. Agito=satisfied. Every time when Ton-chan asked for their homework, everyone would turn it in except Agito who flipped her off in response.

"Why didn't you have your homework today, Agito?" the teacher dared to ask meekly. The Fang King would snort before lifting his legs and placing them on the desk.

"My shark ate it." he answered in a serious tone. Ton-chan widened her eyes in confusion.

The class muffled giggles at his answer but immediately shut up after Agito turn to them with a glare.

"…Well, be sure to turn it in, okay?"

In response, Agito grunted before sticking out his tongue. Soon after, Agito began to talk back at the teacher with more lame excuses, involving a shark, about his HW.

Week 2: "My shark died."

Week 3: "I colored my homework red and my shark thought it was meat and ate it."

"Didn't your shark died last week?"

"What kind of fucked-up shit are you spouting out now?"

Week 4: "My shark escaped. I had to look for it so I didn't have enough time to do my homework.

Week 5: "Kaito killed my shark. The shark ate his hands so he got angry at it and stabbed it repeatedly. I was busy that week, making its grave."

"You just said that Kaito's hands got eaten by a shark. How did he stab the shark?"

"Kaito's hands didn't get eaten. The shark ate his head."

"That doesn't make any sense-"

"You're blind, bitch. The shark ate his whip and he stabbed and killed the shark out of fury with a steak knife."

"…"

And so the cycle continued. Something came up, though. One day, the teacher came in a really bad mood. None of the students except herself knew why she was such in a bad mood. Yesterday, a burglar broke into her house and nearly molested her in the process last night. He tried to steal her wallet, piggy bank and other useless junk she had hanging around. She fought back by screaming and hitting him with a nearby hardcover sex education book repeatedly. About four hours later, she received a phone call from a lawyer, suing her for physical assault. Nobody could really tell she was in a bad mood at the moment but they could see that she was very weary and tired. With that, her senses dulled a little. Her tiny brain fried to the other side too.

When homework time came along, Agito gave excuses as usual. "My shark stole my homework and fed it to the neighbor's dog."

Sighing, Ton-chan pinched the bridge of her nose before answering. "Agito, if this continues, your grades will fall. I will have to call the principal and your guardian which, if I remember correctly, was your brother."

Ikki could see that Agito slightly winced at the thought of Kaito coming. "Bite me, whore."

With that, Ton-chan burst into tears. Outside the door, the principal was making his daily walk around the school until he heard his favorite teacher burst into sobs. He ran into the room and immediately comfort her while Agito stood, staring at them with cold and uncaring eyes. The principal narrowed his eyes before trying to reason calmly and as friendly as he could.

"Agito, please don't anger your teacher. If you keep this up, I will eventually have to call your guardian." the principal said slowly. "Your excuses are simply unbelievable."

A flicker of hatred darted across the Fang King's eyes before growling at him heartlessly. When he opened his mouth to let out a long string of cuss words, the bell rang out to signify that lunch was now in order.

Ikki and Kazu quickly rushed over and dragged a cussing Agito away for lunch with Onigri trailing behind them lazily. When they released him on the roof of the school, Kazu switched the eye patch to see Akito staring at them with worried eyes.

"Why haven't you suppress Agito yet? It's kinda bothering us that you would let Agito do this." Ikki questioned, raising an eyebrow. Akito looked down dejectedly, shifting his weight from one foot to the another.

"I can't. Agito says that he knows what he's doing and refuses to let me take over. He says he's doing this for me. But, to be honest, I really don't think this is the right choice…." the blue-haired teen trailed off, refusing to meet his friends' eyes.

"Ikki, I think we better let Agito state his part of the say." Kazu said in concern. "This whole entire homework excuse thing is going way too long."

Cautiously, Ikki turned the eye patch to the other eye to reveal a swearing Agito. He calmed down a bit but not before kicking Ikki in the face as retaliation.

"So…what's with the whole homework excuse thing?"

Agito glared at them for a bit before calming down. "I don't like it when Akito's depressed."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I made all these excuses so Akito didn't have to feel so ashamed about his failing grade."

"You do realize that Akito is going to fail more now that he hasn't turn in his weekly homework for the last couple weeks?" Kazu dryly commented.

Onigri's eyes widen bursting out in laughter. Agito immediately roared in fury before proceeding to nearly choke the obese boy to death. "You think this is funny?! You damn fucking-"

Onigri choked and clawed at the furious boy's hands before Ikki and Kazu was able to pry them off. "Enough of that, Onigri, what's so funny?"

"You don't realize…look at us. Who gives a rat's ass about their grades anyway? Don't you ever wonder why the principal never expelled us? Cause the teacher was too stupid to realize that she gave us As! Even Akito!"

"We failed fifteen out of the sixteen quizzes of the semester and we have an A?!" Kazu exclaimed in disbelief.

"Holy crap…it's a miracle…" Ikki trailed off, incredulous. However, his face soon turned to doubt and suspicion. "And how would you know that, Onigri?"

"I have sources...Hehehe."

"Huh?" Ikki raised a confused eyebrow. Kazu sighed and rolled his eyes. "Ikki, if he could sneak and spy on girls in the girls shower room for an hour, sneaking into the teacher's desk shouldn't be too much of a problem."

"That's low, Onigri." Ikki commented, earning an indignant glare from the said person.

"But you do realize that Akito's reputation at stake?" Kazu mused to the others out loud, tapping his chin in thought. "You probably don't realize it but most of the students were laughing at your lame puns and you not with you."

"You got something to say, fucker?" Agito's hand moved to punch Kazu but it stopped in midair rigidly. The boy winced awkwardly. "Fuck, Akito, don't do that….Fine…." Kazu automatically relaxed in relief before letting out a sigh.

"Anyway, Agito, I know you just want to help in some way or another but really, you're causing him more trouble. If you're going to make up excuses, do some good ones, meaning, ones that don't involve a shark or a fish for that matter. You need to repair Akito's reputation. As well as yours."

Agito looked at him hard before letting out a reluctant sigh. "…Fine, I'll take your advice this time, you damn crow."

With that, Agito stood up and went downstairs. As soon as he disappeared, Kazu turned to Ikki. "Why did you tell him that anyway? You know, you could have just told him to let Akito do his homework and try his best. But no, you told him to ditch class and still give lame homework excuses."

Ikki chuckled before putting his hands on the back of his head lazily. "Nah, didn't want to. It's way more interesting this way. Besides, you know how Akito is. So forgiving all the time. Let's just see where this ends up."

0.o.0.o.0.

When the next week rolled around, the students waited eagerly for homework time to see Agito's new response.

"Agito, did you forget your homework again?"

"Yeah. Some fucker down the street took it so I wasted some of my precious time that could've been used for doing my homework to beat the shit out of that fucking asshole. Fuck him to the lowest pit of fucking hell."

Ton-chan stared at him in silence. "...Alright then."

Kazu leaned towards Ikki and whispered. "This doesn't make it any better now."

Ikki leaned in his seat casually. "At least, it doesn't contain sharks anymore."

As soon as the teacher sighed and got off his case, Agito reverted back to Akito who looked eager to learn.

"See? Not only the lame excuses have flared down, so did Agito's presence."

Week 7: "When I was practicing with my ATs, I dropped my homework accidentally and it got ripped into tiny pieces by the blades. Oh well, the piece of shit had a good life of six hours and five minutes crumpled up in my book bag."

Week 8: "Kazu stole it. He runs damn fast for a thief."

"Wait, what?! No, I didn't!"

"Kazuma Mikura, give Agito back his homework!"

Week 9: "Had a Battle. Blame Ikki for not giving me enough time to do my homework."

"That's it! Stop blaming other people, you bastard!"

Week 10: "My asshole of a brother said I was stupid so I ran away from home. I left my homework there too so I wasn't able to do my homework."

"…"

And so it continued on. Akito never had to worry about homework ever again. Agito was never bored again.

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Useless story. Yay.


End file.
